Checking-In and TOMS!

Let's start with the exciting news ... I got TOMS! I've been dying to get a pair for more than a year now, but after months of agonizing over which pair to get I decided to ask for them for my birthday. Jesse did the smart thing and rather than picking out the wrong ones, he told me that I could pick out whichever pair I wanted. I originally planned to get Gilded Herringbone in the classic style, but the more I looked at them, the more I worried  that they'd be too fall/winter-y. Rather than splurging on them halfway through winter, I agonized for yet another month-and-a-half about which pair to get. I went to four different stores looking, and narrowed it down to Ash or Olive, but couldn't decide between the two. Oh the agony! 

When my mom was in town, we went to their website for one more round of browsing and came across one of their newer designs - Burlap Triangle - which caught my eye. I was a little hesitant about the woven soles at first, but ultimately decided that they'd be perfect for spring. 

I'm not sure why buying a pair of Toms feels like such a big deal (it's not a new car or anything!), but just to be sure I was making the right decision I slept on my decision before clicking purchase. I woke up yesterday morning, started working, and then had one of those "OH YEAH" moments when I remembered them. Once that moment happened, I knew I was making the right decision, so I went to their site and ordered my very first pair of Toms. I sort of love them. Sigh.

In other news, I got another update from the doctor. At my last appointment, there was talk of surgery, which was quickly shot down because the location at which he would need to operate is very difficult to access (where the skull base and inner ear meet), and he's not sure how to fix the problem once he gets there. (Background: my brain lining is herniating into my inner ear, creating a gap for infection to enter my brain. Hence, meningitis.) 

The solution last week was that I needed to become a vigilant hand washer, stay away from sick people and germ-y kids, and watch for any signs/symptoms of meningitis. My doctor was hopeful that scar tissue would build-up and cover the gap, but since nothing else has gone according to plan, he wasn't confident that it would work. Understanding that surgically fixing the lesion wasn't an option, I had to deal with the doctor's short-term decision, knowing that he would be meeting with the rest of his skull base team to develop an alternate plan. (Side note: I'm very fortunate to be seeing a doctor at John's Hopkins who runs the Otolaryngology (ear/nose/throat) Department and specializes in skull-based surgeries) 

Not expecting to hear anything else from him until my next MRI in April, I was really shocked to get a phone call from his resident last Thursday. She explained that he'd been talking to the rest of the team and they all agreed that a new plan would be better than leaving it alone, and ultimately came to the decision of entering via a different route and protecting the lesion by creating a barrier in my middle ear.

First I had to come to terms with the fact that I might have surgery, then I had to settle with the fact that surgery wasn't a possibility, and now here I was coming to terms with surgery again. Can't they make these decisions before sending me on a roller coaster of emotions?! That being said, it's been about a week since I got the last call, so I'm definitely more comfortable with the idea of surgery now. As one of my friends said, I'm especially comfortable knowing that a bunch of doctors sat in a room talking about my case, working up a plan to fix everything.

While the last month has been full of unknowns, I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. I found a saying on Pinterest that seems perfect for my situation, so I used it as inspiration for the print below. It's a good reminder to stay calm and not worry about the things I can't control, so I'm hoping it will help me get through these next couple of weeks as I prepare for surgery.

Surgery is scheduled for February 10th and the recovery time is expected to take about 10-14 days. I'll try to keep everyone posted leading up to the surgery (and hopefully right after), but if you don't hear from me for a few weeks, now you'll know why. I know it won't be too much of a change since I haven't been the most faithful blogger lately, but at least this time I have a real excuse! :)